National Sterotyping, Extremely Funny

This piece has been doing the rounds on the internet with a couple of different versions, I thought I'd post it here.

New Security Alerts

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings,
the level has just been raised from 'miffed' to 'peeved'! Soon
though, the levels may be raised yet again to "irritated' or even "a
bit cross". Londoners have not been a "bit cross" since the blitz in
1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been
re-categorised from "tiresome" to "a bloody nuisance", The last time
a "bloody nuisance" warning level was issued was during the great
fire in 1666.

Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has
raised its terror alert level from RUN to HIDE. The only two higher
levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was
precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag
factory, effectively paralysing their military capability.

It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert,
the Italians have increased their alert level from ! "shout loudly
and excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels
remain, "ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful
arrogance" to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have
two higher levels, "invade a neighbour" and "lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone
from "isolationism" to "find another oil-rich nation in the middle
east ripe for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states
are "attack the world" and "beg the British for help".

Finally over there in Britain they've gone from "pretend nothing's
happening", to "make another cup of tea". Their higher levels are
"remain resolutely cheerful" and "win".